Family of 4 Pics

My wonderful friend and talented photographer, Vallery Bunnell, took pictures for us when Spencer was one week old exactly (he's two weeks today). I love how they turned out and had to share :). Enjoy:

Mother of Two

I made it! I did it! I'm now a mother of two beautiful boys! Here is how it went down:

As most of you know, I was to be induced on March 29th which would be my 39 week mark. It had been a difficult pregnancy and I felt like this was the right thing to do. At 38 weeks I was dilated to almost a 5 and I was extremely uncomfortable with all the contractions and it hurt to get up or walk so I kept thinking, "it could happen any time-I'll bet I wont make it to my induction date..." BUT with my induction date it mind, it helped that I knew when it'd be over. I could make it until the 29th I kept telling myself. Well, after a week of "four more days!", "two more days!", "tomorrow is the day!" etc, I called into labor and delivery on the 29th like I was told to.

The charge nurse came on the phone and I asked her what time I was supposed to come in for my induction. She looked and stated, "Well, you're not on the schedule and we don't have room for you." I was in shock. Are you kidding me?! I had been on the schedule for a month now and when I would go into my doctors appointments weekly I'd ask, "we still good for the 29th?" and the answer was always "yes". My doctor called me to apologize and tell me that he had to idea whos fault this was or how this happened because his nurse specifically remembers calling in and scheduling it with the hospital. And then he asked, "How does your schedule for Saturday look to have a baby?" I'm thinking, 'TWO days? What?!'but I told him my schedule was wide open. The reason why he couldn't do it the next day (Friday) was because he'd be at a conference in Reno until Friday night so that's why I had to wait until Saturday. I had already packed everything, gotten ready, Parker stayed the night at my in-laws Wednesday night, everything and everyone was ready to have a baby on Thursday. So, needless to say, I was heartbroken, angry, and sad. Let's face it-I was a wreck.

But my sweet Mom, sisters, husband and friends helped me to keep my mind off it the fact that I had to wait two more days to hold my baby boy. On Thursday my mom took me to get a massage and it helped me calm down and relax immensely. Then on Friday, my sisters took me to breakfast and diaper bag shopping (they bought me the CUTEST diaper bag!). After that, Darrin, Parker and I went to City Creek Mall to walk around and enjoy the beautiful weather. I also had friends who brought me treats, and who called to let me spill my guts to them. I am SO grateful to have such AMAZING family and friends who were there for me in a time of need.

So, SATURDAY was the new day to have my baby. You're not supposed to eat after midnight the night before and induction. But my doctor told me to break the rules and EAT because I'd need the energy (thank you Dr. Watts!). I called the hospital at 6am on Saturday like I was told to see what time I could come in. They told me to be there by 7:45. So we packed up the last minute items and Darrin and I headed to Village Inn for our last breakfast before having a new addition to our family. After breakfast we headed to the hospital. This is how it went down:
Breakfast at Village Inn before the big even:
















Heading to the hospital and getting ready:






























































7:45am-Checked in and I was in my room and dressed by 8:00.
8:00am-Got an IV. The nurse missed the first and second time and was hitting BONE, not a vein. OUCH! (I now have an awesome, massive black and blue bruise :)). We finally got it right the third time.
8:45am-My Doctor (Dr. Watts) came in and started the pitocin, then broke my water. I was dilated to almost a 5-same as at 38 weeks.
9:00am-Before my doc had broken my water, I was offered the epidural. But I really wasn't feeling any more pain at this point then I had been with my contractions be past 20 weeks. I wanted to at least feel like my body was in labor before I was numb to it all. The nurse told me that if I waited to have the epidural I'd have to wait until 10:30am since the anesthesiologist was going into a c-section. I thought about it and decided I could wait until 10:30-only an hour and a half away-I could do that!
9:00am-10:30am-Contractions were getting worse and worse. Closer and closer together. I couldn't sit it the bed anymore. I needed to be up and trying to DO SOMETHING about the pain. I asked for a birthing ball to try out and see if that could relieve some of the pain. Darrin came over and held my hand, massaged my back and told me I was doing great. I love that man! It was getting really intense. The nurse offered me pain meds for my IV but that's the last thing I wanted. I didn't want to be loopy at all! I just wanted to be numb-that's what I planned on. I kept looking at the clock and saying, "only 45 more minutes until I can get my epidural!", "only 15 more minutes...".












By the time that 10:30 rolled around I was SO ready for that epidural. BUT I was still glad that I waited until then so that I could feel the labor until I couldn't stand it any more. The nurse came in at about 10:20 and I told her-YES-I'M READY FOR THE EPIDURAL! So, she went off to get the anesthesiologist. I turned to my sweet husband and told him, "I am SO excited to get the epidural. SO ready." At this point the nurse checked me and I was dilated to a 6.
10:35am-The nurse came in and calmly said, "Um, they actually hadn't gone into the c-section yet, but just went in." I replied with, "You're joking right?" literally believing she was joking. She said, "No-I'm not joking." I said, "So, what does that mean? When can I get it?" The nurse told me, "An hour and a half.". WHAT?!?!??!?!?!? I was already in so much pain and now I was shocked. I wasn't ready for this-I wasn't prepared-I couldn't possibly do this. The nurse said, "By the time they get out it'll be about noon. By that point you could be dilated to a 9 or something and I'd just DO IT if that's the case-you can do this!". Um, no, surely I couldn't. But I had to push forward. Did I have a choice in the matter??
10:35-11:35am-I called my sister who does natural births. I asked for ideas inbetween excrutiating contractions that were only getting worse and closer together. She gave me a few ideas to try. I did. They didn't really help much to be honest. At first I was getting through them one contraction at a time. And then it seemed I had no breaks. Just pure pain! At about 11:00 I was dilated to an 8. Then at 11:15 I was at an 8 1/2. At this point I was thinking, 'I may DIE. I cannot do this!' literally. But Darrin was there to assure me I was doing great and I was DOING IT! I'm sure I was putting Darrin through pain as well as I was SQUEEZING him with all my might to get through each contraction. Trying to SWAY, trying to BREATH, trying to PRAY for help, trying to imagine HOLDING my baby, but it was SO hard!
11:40am-I was feeling a lot of pressure and it got to the point where I just KNEW I had to push. The nurse checked me at I was ready in all forms. She was holding my legs closed and looked me in the eye saying, "Your doctor is on his way. You can do this!". I replied with, "I need him NOW and I NEED to push!" Another doctor ran in, scrubbed up and said, "Let her do her thing".
11:47am-I'd say about 5 pushes later and he was out. I got to see the whole thing in the mirror and I'm so glad I was able to. What an amazing thing it was. Darrin got to cut the umbilical cord and then they put him right on my chest. It was beautiful. I was holding my baby boy. He was perfect. I did it! I really did it! I got to hold and cuddle Spencer for about 20 minutes and then they took him to do all the tests.































Spencer was breathing rapidly and had low blood sugar. So, Darrin headed to the NICU with him. He was poked, prodded and monitored in the NICU for three days which was really hard :(. We felt like they were terrible at communicating with us what was going on, how he was doing and when we could take him home. Each nurse gave us different answers, different updates and different expectations of when we could bring him home. That made it all that much harder. BUT, he's doing much better now and he's HOME!!! I cannot explain how amazing it felt to bring my baby home and to have Spencer and Parker meet for the very first time. What a special moment that I'll never forget. It was so sweet.

The question is, would I go natural again? The answer is no. I don't think so. Granted if circumstances were different, maybe I'd feel differently. Like 1)If I wasn't on Pitocin with my water broken, 2)If I had prepared for a natural birth, 3)If I had a deep desire to do a natural birth and 4)If I felt like I had a choice in the matter. But let's face it-it HURT extremely bad. The pushing BURNED like non other. And then there's all the after math pain that I never even noticed with Parker's birth because I couldn't feel it. The delivering the placenta, the pushing on the belly to get everything out and then all the aftermath contractions. Not fun and doesn't feel good. It was not the worst thing of my life though. Yes, the worst pain of my life, but it does feel good that I did it (still not worth it in my opinion :)) but I feel like I came out of it with a good attitude. Not the attitude that I'll do it again, but the attitude that I was so thankful that I could now hold my sweet baby. I did it and I would do it again if I HAD TO to have my little boy, but if I had the choice, epidural all the way :). Like I said though, this is circumstantial with all the things I went through. I completely admire those who do it on purpose :).

My recovery was great though I will say! It was great to be able to move my legs, and I was up and walking around pretty much right after everything. But I attribute a lot of my speedy recovery to the fact that I didn't tear at all. I'm not sure that my recovery had much to do with the fact I went natural. Who knows though.

I'm SO thankful that everything worked out in the end. I have my perfect baby to have and to hold, I have my helpful, sweet Parker. I have an amazing husband who gets two weeks paternity leave which is AWESOME, and I feel so content with life right now. Don't get me wrong, it's not all perfect :). I am very sleep deprived and Parker isn't always an angel around Spencer. I think it'd be hard to have to share mom and dad's time and attention too! But so far, he's such a sweet big brother and loves Spencer SO much! He's constantly wanting to hold him, give him his binky, "Shhhhh, shhhhh"ing him, and looking at him with the most proud, loving expressions. It's SO cute!

I also have an incredible extended family to be grateful for. an amazing ward family and wonderful friends. Everyone has been so supportive and sweet to us. Thank you all so much! We're so happy to be a family of four!